Lying In A Vacuum

The invention of the vacuum cleaner was inspired by the long-snouted pig of Algeria, which wanders the plains of the country sucking-up debris from the ground to eat. The snout is very versatile and can be adapted to any surface or space and one of the odd features of the pig is its extendable tail which it uses to anchor itself to trees and which recoils into the bottom when released.

Musical Lie

Lovely popular beat combo, ‘Travis’, were so-named after the fact that front man Fran Healy was hatched from an egg found in the beard of the Hairy Cornflake himself. Rumours that David Lee-Roth was found in a discarded packet of twenty Rothmans cigarettes have been flatly denied.

During thunder storms the safest place to be is beneath a whale since there is no recorded incident of a whale having been hit by lightning. This simple fact was what prompted some enterprising young men in the US to set-up a lightning deflector manufacturing business based around the concept of carrying a whale around in one’s pockets. Although initial investment was hurried and enthusiastic, the company folded within a week of floating on the stock market when no-one would buy their product, seemingly deterred by the high-pitched keening noises and the overwhelming stench of rotting whale carcass, thus precipitating the 1929 stockmarket crash.

The Beginning of All Lie

This is a pointless little BLOG about lying. Not just ordinary lies about cheques being in the mail and 'It's not mine - it belongs to a mate'. These are patently ridiculous lies which could never possibly be believed. I've been doing this for a number of years now for no real reason other than it seems to amuse a few people, so I thought I'd spread the silly wider, starting with -

CKOne, the fragrance from Calvin Klein, is produced from the tears baby otters make when they are tickled until they cry. The so-called ‘Joy Technicians’ who perform the tickling are paid handsomely in potatoes.